A Brief Love Language Primer

Love language is a term used to convey the idea that we communicate our love, and receive love messages from others, in particular ways. Whereas one person may show love by words of affection, another may show it by acts of service. It’s a good idea to know not only our own primary love language, but that of our partner as well. It helps when both parties in a relationship speak the same language, or at least can speak the language of the other. The diagram below depicts each major love language in terms of behavior.


love language

This concept of love languages is based on the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Wikipedia explains it as such: “to discover another person’s love language, one must observe the way they express love to others, and analyze what they complain about most often and what they request from their significant other most often. He theorizes that people tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer to receive love, and better communication between couples can be accomplished when one can demonstrate caring to the other person in the love language the recipient understands. An example would be if a husband’s love language is acts of service, he may be confused when he does the laundry for his wife and she doesn’t perceive that as an act of love, viewing it as simply performing household duties, because the love language she comprehends is words of affirmation (verbal affirmation that he loves her). She may try to use what she values, words of affirmation, to express her love to him, which he would not value as much as she does. If she understands his love language and mows the lawn for him, he perceives it in his love language as an act of expressing her love for him; likewise, if he tells her he loves her, she values that as an act of love”


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